So I went to wal-mart last night, and i swear the entire traveling circus was making a late-night run for supplies. I like to mind my own business and am very "in-and-out" when it comes to shopping yes i am...but i couldnt help but notice this hulking man with a wig and lipstick staying close by while I looked for DVD's.. Oh, his very presence made me uncomfortable, but when he came up and spoke to me, it was then that I realized that he was in fact, a woman.

I kept it pretty cool, but I wasn't about to stand there forever. So I sped-walked olympic style to the front of the store and stood in line. The hispanic couple in front of me bought just enough food to feed their 18 kids, giving the woMan just enough time to get in line behind me.. well now i'm freaking out.

She attempts to speak to me in english, (apparently she also was hispanic) but i barely understood and her chin hairs were sending chills down my spine. I only have one DVD, she puts all her stuff on the mini-check-out treadmill and it gets checked out before mine. "Sarwy" She exclaimed, but it was cool, I was going to let her leave first.

(I might add that another woman with severe A.D.D. who spent forever trying to decide the difference between Spearmint and Peppermint gum broke in front of me, and the two guys behind me who seemed to be wearing matching dominatrix attire were starring me down like I was the one with two heads.)

I finally leave with my single purchase (and am very ecstatic)
and guess who's conveniently waiting for me outside: The bearded lady who could kill me with one punch. She follows me to my car and as I get in she comes to my door and manages to ask me to come to her place because apparently "she would give me what I wanted".. well then I felt utterly saturated and after burning rubber out of the Wal-mart parking lot I went and scrubbed my body down, burned my clothes, and went to bed.

from now on i'm shopping at Target.